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Relationships Here and There
Mari Suzaki
from Japan
Mari
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Since I came to the U.S. there are lots of things that confuse and surprise me. There are many differences between life in Japan and life here. The general display of affection and the physical contact allowed between sexes are two that have impressed me. Boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are different in America than in Japan.
Here, in America, it's really common for people to hug or embrace each other. They do it anytime with anyone, not just a boy or girlfriend. Through such acts they show their emotions to each other and show them how loving they are. I think it's a great custom. When I came here earlier, I couldn’t count how many times I thought “Wow, he/she is cheating!” because in Japan, we rarely hug or embrace each other. There is no custom of hugging or kissing each other as a greeting or a show of affection (except to a boy or girl friend). My friends here, in America, have shown me just how different relationships can be.
I have noticed that boy-girlfriend relationships seem less possessive here than they are in Japan. A friend of mine has a boyfriend and a lot of friends who are boys. She often embraces her male friends, but her boyfriend doesn’t mind. Every time I see her hugging with her male friends in front of her boyfriend, I‘m anxious that he might become mad. If this occurred in Japan, then her boy friend would be angry and very jealous! Also if you go out with an opposite sex friend alone, your boy or girl friend will be mad at you, and you will have a quarrel.
Of course, each person's tolerance is different. I can't describe a specific reaction so simply, but I think Japanese are more possessive than Americans about love affairs, and physical contact.
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