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Rape Victim Breaks Silence
As told to Kristalyn Bunyan
Rapes often go unreported, especially on college campuses. Mars Hill College is no exception. Campus Security Director Sandra Robertson says no rapes or sexual assaults were reported to her office between September and February 2006.
One victim recently stepped forward to talk about her experience, provided she could remain anonymous. She tells why she didn't come forward immediately after her rape on campus last semester, in October 2005. Here is her story, as told to Hilltop Reporter Kristalyn Bunyan.
It was around 4 a.m. when it happened. I was asleep, and I didn't know anything about anything until he had gotten on top of me. I screamed, but there was no one to hear.
It was bad enough that it was the weekend, but it was Fall Break, so the dorms were empty. The Resident Assistants didn't have to be on duty over the break, so nobody was watching visitation. No one was watching the main door to Stroup or Edna Moore. I don't know which door he came in.
He and I had been hanging out with some people earlier that day, because we had some mutual friends. And he went drinking that night, and I don't know what made him come to my room.
He must have tried my door first, but it was locked. I always lock my door at night, and I lock it anytime. I just happened to be in there. But he went in by way of my suitemate's room. She had gone away for the weekend and had left her door unlocked, and he must have come in through my bathroom.
When I woke up he was in the process of taking my pants off. I screamed because I didn't know what to do. I tried to push him off, but because of the way the bed was set up, I couldn't push him far. They say adrenaline makes you stronger, and you don't know what you can do, and stuff like that. I tried. I tried, and I couldn't get him off of me. I know that had someone been on the hallway that night, they would have heard me.
Right after, I didn't know what to think. I was shocked. I was hurt because of who it was. Because I thought he and I were friends. I didn't think that he would ever take it to another level where I didn't want it to be. I was scared, because obviously he didn't use a condom. I thought I was going to get pregnant. I didn't know what would happen.
I knew I couldn't tell my parents or my family or my boyfriend, because they would all be down here before sunrise. It's a 12-hour drive. They all would have been here, and I didn't need any of them to go to jail. I didn't want to tell my parents because I knew they would be so hurt and angry. They would have pulled me out of Mars Hill ASAP. I was scared.
I waited until morning and called my roommate, and I said, "Something has happened. I've been raped. I need you to come and get me. I can't deal with it." And I was crying. She came as soon as she could, because she goes home on the weekends.
For a long time I didn't tell anyone else. They didn't have a support system, and there was no way I could tell my parents. I knew I didn't want to press charges because I didn't want to have to go through court proceedings and be poked and prodded in the emergency room. I didn't want to have to deal with that. I had so many things on my plate for classes and such, and I didn't want to have to miss class. I didn't want to have to tell any of my professors that I missed class because I was raped just recently.
The Sexual Assault Forum really struck a chord with me because the school people were like saying, "We'll believe you, we'll help you," and things like that. But girls that I knew that this has happened to in the past, the school didn't believe them. Their names were brought out when they didn't want their names brought out.
Finally I said something to two faculty members, right after a panel for Difficult Dialogues, and they were concerned. They were really concerned. And I've had some follow-up meetings with them and with some other faculty.
I'm finally okay with it, and I'm finally not afraid of what people will think of me. I don't have to face him anymore because he transferred. So I'm not worried about him running my name through the mud, trying to tell people it was consensual when it wasn't.
I think students should be more aware. I've known forever you can't trust everyone you come into contact with, but I think definitely that needs to be the main thing people have to keep in mind.
I want new locks on the door of Edna Moore and Stroup like they have in Brown. Edna Moore and Stroup share a basement, and there are usually windows open down there, and there are either no screens or holes in the screens. I don't think that is safe.
To others who go through something like this, I would say, definitely talk to somebody. Create a support system. Make friends. Get close to people so that you have someone who will give you that shoulder. Don't be ashamed, because it's not your fault.
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Reader Comment:
Bill Dycus, Director of Counseling, 3/28/06, 10:39 a.m.
I want to honor this student's courage to come forward and share her story. I hope that it will encourage others who have been assaulted to speak out as well, or at least tell someone else so that they do not have to suffer in silence. It is only through breaking that silence can we put a spotlight on these crimes and make a clear statement that rape/sexual assault at Mars Hill College will not be tolerated! Click for more.
Rev. B. Kris Kramer, MHC '88, 3/30/2006, 5:41 p.m.
How painful this story truly is. It is a wake up call for all of us who think these types of things only happen to others. I too applaud the courage you show by speaking out. I only hope that you will find the God-given strength to fully speak out and place names next to this horrible event. The man who did this could harm others (at his new college)if he is protected. I cannot imagine what a painful time this has been (and for others who are victims of this crime of violence). I hope your witness will shine as a beaon of hope to others who have also been violated and are facing the choice of remaining silent or speaking out. "Therefore since we live in such a depraved generation, let us shine like the stars of the universe!".
Marc Mullinax, faculty, 4/12/2006, 8:52 a.m.
Mars Hill College: We must get higher-tech locks for all the dorms. This is a liability issue.
What (else) will it take to start paying attention?
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